EMPTY NEST SYNDROME AND WAYS TO COPE

Empty nest syndrome can be more common than people think.

We like to cover a broad range of subjects in our insight articles as sometimes the things that we don’t even consider affecting our mental health, are the ones that can be the hardest to deal with.

For example, in the past, you may have noticed a decline in the mood of someone you worked with, but never totally understood how much emotional pain they were going through until something similar happened in your life.

Once we are aware of potential triggers of poor mental wellbeing, we can do something about them. Either to help ourselves or those around us. We can reach out to colleagues with empathy and understanding so they can open up and share what they are struggling with.

The focus of this article is a time that parents can find incredibly difficult to deal with, which is when they reach the point where their child leaves home. This may not just be hard on the day they leave, but for some, months beforehand, the sense of dread and sickening worry can fill their every thought.

So here are some tips to help get them or you through this time in a more positive way:

Plan ahead

Your child moving to their own home or going to university won’t suddenly happen. It is something that you know will inevitably come around, so planning and preparing your whole family will make the transition a much easier time. Similar to when people are going to retire from a long career, giving thought to what will give you purpose and motivate you is important so there isn’t a major decline in your mental wellbeing.

What have you put off doing over the years because you didn’t have time due to providing a taxi service for the kids? What other relationships need more of your time and energy now, or would you like to be more involved in community projects? What skills could you give to your children that will prepare them to discover the world independently?

Happy parents, happy children

Imagine how much better your child will feel if they can see that you are coping and are going to be ok when they fly the nest. They will still need you for support and advice (and money!) and the chances are you will talk more and have a stronger bond than ever, as they realise that it’s not as easy as it looks to work and manage a household. You will, of course, be emotional and there may be tears from you and your child.

Keep talking

Some parents find that changing from a family unit back to just the two of you rattling around the home can be a difficult time for the relationship, and many people split up at this. However, it can be a fantastic opportunity to boost your relationship, try new experiences, go out on the spur of the moment, and most of all, re-discover the love and laughter that brought you together in the first place.

A new phase

Remember that you haven’t lost your child forever, they are just starting a new chapter in their journey. You will have many more happy times together and your children will continue to be a source of great pleasure. Be proud of yourself for the start you have given them in life, and allow yourself time to be a little bit selfish and put your needs first for a while.