You may have heard a lot recently about how much being kind can benefit those around you and the far-reaching positive effects and energy that choosing to be kind can bring.
Louise Tierney, mental health co-ordinator at Corporate Personal Wellbeing, explains:
Whilst introducing the ‘Five Ways to Wellbeing’ in the training room, when I talk about the fifth way, which is ‘Give’, I often use random acts of kindness as an example. It is a lovely feeling for both yourself as the giver, and the receiver of your kind gesture. It can go a long way in its effects, often completely changing how someone feels on that day.
On many occasions I find being kind, like smiling, is infectious. People often follow your lead and think about what they can do to spread the kindness even further. We have all noticed that during the lockdown people have been reaching out to those in their neighbourhood who were previously strangers; offering help and support with shopping or things they may struggle with. These people are no longer strangers, but friends who smile, wave, or have a chat.
I have noticed that some people in the streets where I live who saw this happening, also started to knock on the doors of those isolated, elderly or lonely people to see if they could help them too. Suddenly, there was an epidemic of kindness, which was wonderful to witness. I am sure from talking to friends and colleagues mine isn’t the only street this has happened in. I hope it continues to happen way beyond 2020.
After considering this, I started to think about how we can find it quite easy to be kind to others and look after those around us. But are we the same when it comes to being kind and looking after ourselves? How many times does our critical inner voice tell us we are not good enough, wealthy enough, thin enough, clever enough or strong enough? How many times do we put our needs and things we find pleasure in, to the bottom of the list?
To improve our mental wellbeing, we need to recognise this inner critic and begin to treat ourselves with the kindness that we give to others.
Here are some recommendations:
Be yourself
We often try to be who we think we ‘should’ be and constantly try to change ourselves and fit in with what we think others want or expect. Let yourself be who you are and remove the constant pressure that weighs you down.
Do what you love
Make time to do something you love. Take a country walk, read a book curled up on the sofa, meditate, plan a weekend with old friends, or just have a long relaxing bath. You are important and deserve time for yourself.
Notice your self-talk
Once you are aware of your inner critic, you can change it to be kind and encouraging. Talk nicely to yourself and notice the difference this makes to your mood and confidence.
Be grateful
Take time to think about the good things in your life instead of focussing on what you don’t have. This will bring optimism and happiness, so count your blessings often.
Treat yourself
Buy yourself your favourite flowers, magazine, fruit, or something you rarely have – just because you deserve it and are special.
Change your focus
Stop focussing on what you can’t do and look at what you can. Redirecting your attention like this will lift your mood.
Make time to reflect
Allow yourself time to think things through. We often feel the need to instantly respond and make instant decisions. Take a breath, think things through and choose to do what feels right for you. Green door activity such as a walk in a green space is the ideal time to reflect and has proven mental health benefits.