Self-esteem refers to how we think about ourselves and how we value ourselves as a person.
During our work in mental health over many years, we have met numerous people who have all brought their own very personal and varying range of mental health problems and issues with them.
One common trait is that a good number of them had extremely low opinions of themselves and low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem involves a person having an overall negative view of themselves, where they feel they are useless, stupid, weak, unlovable and inferior to those around them. Low self-esteem can be present because of negative experiences in a person’s life, and often starts when they are young.
Being bullied, judged, or criticised constantly can all contribute to a lack of self-worth. On becoming an adult, low self-esteem could come from experiencing incredibly stressful events, prolonged financial hardship, chronic pain or from a relationship where abuse occurred.
Once our self-esteem is low it can be difficult to build back up, as we can be overly critical of ourselves, and can start to believe that others are criticising us, even if that is not the case.
We all have times in our lives when we may lack confidence, doubt ourselves or feel uncertain, but if you feel that your low self-esteem is starting to impact on many aspects of your life, at work, in relationships or how you are taking care of your health and personal self-care, then it may be time to take some steps to build up your self-esteem.
As always, we encourage you to make an appointment to talk to your G.P. or health professional to have a health check, to ensure there are no other underlying problems which are impacting on your mental or physical health.
Some things to remember as you start to build your self-esteem are:
- There are times when everyone struggles with negativity and self-doubt regardless of wealth, fame or beauty. Self-esteem issues can come to us all.
- However small your successes may seem, value every single one of them – appreciating your positives can boost your confidence.
- Believe that you can change, and low self-esteem is not permanent. This hope of things improving and the future becoming brighter will lift your mood.
- Although it can be difficult at times, remember that you are lovable, worthy, and special, your negative thoughts are not facts. As you continue your journey towards high self-esteem this will become easier with practice.
- There is lots of help available and people who want to help you, so let them.
- Even though your inner critic can be overwhelming, you can work on and develop your emotions and become the confident person you want to be.
Other changes you can begin to make could include:
- Setting realistic goals and celebrating your achievements. Keep a journal and write down positive things that are happening to you to look back at later on.
- If someone compliments you accept it, believe it, and say thank you.
- Look after your physical health; exercise and eat well.
- Visualise positive change.
- Be the person you want to be. Walk and talk confidently and with optimism, and you will start to feel this way in time.